Hopefully, where it all Begins!

I have finally organized as much as I can on my desk that Wes has built me out of pallets in my basement. He is definitely going to need to build me a couple more shelves, but I love it!

 

He even wired an outlet from a light bulb so I can have electricity at my desk! I Actually originally only had 3 light-bulbs in my basement  but now hes wired like 3 more lights and 2 outlets. So now with the electricity I can keep my laptop and printer down there! Finally a stationary spot for my computer, instead of the couch, kitchen table, bed, tv tray, etc.

I always look thru craft items on sale and I'd rather have too shit than not enough. So, I've ended up with quite a bit of ribbon. I decided to string all my ribbon on a rope and had Wes drill it into the desk. I will probably add some more little gadgets to this thing and such, but it is a work in progress and I am so happy to finally have a space to store all of my Shit!

Enough with the desk....

This weekend Wes and I are going to the Independence Events Center to see Brett Eldredge and Thomas Rhett. I am so Friggin excited! I am tired of missing out on fun things, so I have also bought tickets to Ellie Goulding in May and I will definitely be buying tickets to Kenny Chesney & Miranda Lambert! I love music. I listen to it when ever I can. Car. Work. Cleaning. Showering. Etc. So not only am I buying all these concert tickets; I want to travel. I love to travel! I've only ever gone on vacations when my dad has paid for them. I am almost 30 friggin years old (shhhh....), I don't need his money. I am not in High School anymore! So yea....

 FOMO?? YOLO?? Whatever... I need to start living my life!

XOXO,
Rachel

Not much to report....

I thought since I have been doing pretty good this last week on keeping up with my blog posting, I'd like to let you know.... There is not much to report! Which in a way, is good!? But boring for you all.

Let's see here... Saturday Wes and I went to my favorite restaurant, P.F. Chang's! Mm mmm...... I don't get to go there often since it is on the Plaza, and we don't really venture out of Lee's Summit much. BUT it is delicious and a plus that it is the cheapest place down there!

 Lettuce Wraps and Mongolian Beef for days!

After dinner we met up with my friend Mandy and her boyfriend and did a little bar hopping around downtown Lee's Summit. Which was nice because we stayed away from all the busy bars! Nothing crazy, but we had fun!


Then there's Hart of Dixie. but for like the past month I have been addicted to watching this show on Netflix. It is the absolute cutest show and totally makes me want to move down south and become a southern bell! But after only 4 seasons they cancelled it :( They only have season 1-3 on Netflix right now but my dumb ass decided to follow the shows twitter page and ruin the last season for myself! Son of a Jackhammer! Oh well, I am still totally watching it, especially for Wade (Wilson Bethel)! If anyone has any recommendations for shows or books, let me know!! I really do want to get back into reading. I love getting lost in books!


21 Day Fix: Although I have not been measuring my food out I am still doing really good at watching my portions. (Saturday at P.F. Chang's was hard, but I was proud of myself!) I have not lost any weight yet, but that doesn't come immediately. I can tell from just the first week that my stomach has shrunk and I already am not eating as much as I used to! I've only done a few work outs but I do not want to over due those especially when I am already sore! Gotta let those muscles heal. But I can tell in my ab (area) that they are building up!


Sorry for the random, boring post but my next one I will get back into my crafting stuff. I will have to show you the desk Wesley made for me out of pallets to put all of my crafting shit in!

XOXO,
Rachel

Spaghetti Squash? Hmm....

So I am trying to be healthy, right? Well I've seen all these posts about how amazing Spaghetti squash is, so I thought I would go ahead and try it out last night for dinner. Wes' mom has made it for him but I have never had it myself.

So I found directions on how to prepare it on Pinterest (where else?) and..... Here we go!

 The directions said to cut it length wise and gut it. This thing smelled just like a pumpkin so I already wasn't diggin it. And on another set of directions I found it said to rub olive oil on the insides and sprinkle with italian herbs (Or greek seasoning because that is all you have).

 Place the open side down in a glass dish with a cup of water and cook at 375 for 30-35 mins. Clearly I have a really old nasty oven so Wes said we should up the temp for ours to 400.

To be even healthier I used ground turkey in the sauce instead of hamburger meat.

Well once the squash was done we let it cool for about 5 mins. We were hungry so we decided to just tough it out and friggin burn our fingers "forking?" out the "noodles?" So I taste tested a noodle thingy and they were not soft like a noodle but I wouldn't say totally crunchy either. And again, already not diggin it but I moved on. So we put the squash in the sauce and sat down to eat. NO FRIGGIN FLAVOR! It wasn't bad, but seriously no flavor whatsoever, and I'm sure the ground turkey didn't help that either. And of course my phone sucks and always dies and I didn't want to go upstairs to get my charger because my legs were Jello from my workout. So below are leftovers. (FYI Pinterest pictures lie!)

Meh, whatever.... Not a fan. But it wasn't terrible. At least I can say I tried it, and I don't think I will again.

Damn you healthy food! Or maybe Damn you Bad Food for being so Good!? Either/Or.

XOXO,
Rachel

21 Day Fix!

Ok I am on day 4, WOOHOO! As I have stated many of times, I love food! And starting this I was afraid I would not get enough food to make me even feel satisfied. This is about portion control and lord have mercy I never watched my portions! Especially cheese, mm mmm I loooove Cheese! but so far it's actually not bad, I have not been Hangry yet!

In my last post I told you I am going through some major personal problems and I feel like my depression is really spiraling, blah! But doing this is kind of keeping my mind off of it. I really want this to work so I am really paying attention.

You are only allowed so many of each container a day depending on your calorie intake you are to calculate at the beginning. Veggies, Protein, Fruit, Carbs, Healthy Fats, etc. So I may add a little (ok more than a little) too much CHEESE than suggested! And yall know I love my booze! I have started at least drinking wine instead of my norm Coors Light or Bud Light. And the past couple days I've really cut down my wine intake although you are only allowed to substitute a yellow (carbs) container ONCE A WEEK for 4 OZ. of wine! HAHAHAHAHA yeaaaa.... uhmm.. How about I just drink 1 glass of wine a night and call it good!? (For now) If I do not see a change then I guess I will have to cut out the booze. BOO! But I am pretty proud of myself so far. It doesn't seem like a long time but 4 days of watching my food and it's intake seems like eternity since I have never had to.

Besides the calorie intake, the program also comes with videos of 30 minute work outs. I have done one video.... the first day.... OOPS! But in my defense it was PLYO. and whoa dude, I am still sore! But I should be good to go tonight and I will not be doing that plyo video this time. I think that needs to wait until I've gained some strength back.

The package I bought also comes with a months supple of shakeology. My little personal size blender broke so instead of adding fruits, ice, etc. I just put one scoop into a blender bottle with 8 oz. of Naked and about 4 oz. of Unsweetened Almond Milk, and it's actually not bad! It does take place of a protein serving a day but the health benefits and meal replacement of it help.

So this lovely picture of myself is after that AWEsome Plyo video!

Here is a picture of a salad for lunch I had measured out. Doesn't look to bad, eh!?

I also made my own chart to track my portions because theirs sucked!

 

This is Emily! I have not seen her since I was 16! She has always loved playing with make up since I can remember. 

Well we have since reconnected through FB and she is a Mary Kay Consultant! So she asked if she could come over and show me some things. At first I was like ehhhh... she is just going to try and sell a bunch of stuff to me, but I also know she is not that type of person. So I ended up agreeing and it actually helped me out a lot with some make up tips she gave me. She actually doesn't do your make up herself, she tells you what to do. Which is the way I learn things anyways. We had a great time, drank some wine, and chatted! I think the end result turned out pretty good. What ya think?? I think I will end up going through that catalog she gave me though. 

I will HOPEFULLY check back in a few days and let ya know how my 21 Day Fix journey is going!

XOXO,

Rachel

Part of my story??

Ok all those posts down there with me talking so positively about bettering myself and having more confidence in myself..... They clearly were all bullshit!

I have had one of the worst years of my life. I have lost friends, I have lost family members and part of it is my fault but of course most of it is the other persons fault right!? I mean duh! Oh well clearly it wasn't meant to be. They were not meant to stay in my life.

Ever since I kicked "The Monster" (Ricky) out, I have been on a downward spiral with my life. You'd think by leaving someone who mentally, physically, and sexually abused me would put me back on track and on the up and up!! No! Because of the person he is, a manipulator, a liar, a PIECE OF SHIT! People decided to take his side, as if I did something wrong? I was left in the dust. Certain people who I (thought) were close with, decided the money, the racing, the women, etc. were more important than helping me through not only having to pick myself up from such a terrible 2 year relationship but also having a cancer scare, and being laid off from my job. Thankfully I do still have supportive people in my life who have tried to help me through all of this.

With the way I was raised, I was never taught how to communicate, nor was there anyone ever there to listen to me, which not only does not help the communication deal but also I don't know what to say. Even from someone asking, how are you? how have you been doing? I either joke "Oh just trying to stay out of trouble" or "I'm fine, nothing really new." I do not know what to even say to those questions. To me anything I have to say is never important. I mean of course if its just a random person I'm shootin the shit with, I am not going to just pour my heart out. That would be crazy! And I definitely have enough of that to go around! But anywho, what do I say to someone I've known forever or a family member who doesn't know everything that is going on with me? I have tried counseling but again I don't know what to say. Probably another reason I have not had a successful relationship in my life yet.

At least I do have Wes, and he is great and he tries! We've been together 7 or 8 months and man he has put up with so much of my shit already. WOOWEE! He is such a laid back care free guy I am still very shocked that he has stuck through this with me. I can't imagine living with some one like me having anxiety and depression.

I am so irritable, I could cry at the drop of the hat, I stress over everything, I am so positive one day and the next everything hits me. When will this end? I always thought I was pretty strong and would just brush everything under the rug as I was always shown how to do and it was done. Well I guess all of this is finally catching up to me. So what is next? I never understood depression. I don't understand how you just couldn't be happy. Well depression and I have gotten to know each other pretty well lately and it is not easy. I have no reason to not be happy; I own my own home (have for 5 years now), my car is paid off, I have a great job (thankfully), and I am alive and well. Why am I so unhappy?

So the first thing I am going to start on is my health. Although I only weighed 115 pounds and have since in High School, that is my body type. I love food way to much to not eat it or waste it by barfing that up! But this past year with everything that has happened to me, I have gained about 25 pounds! Yes I know I look healthier but this body is not me. My doctor even said something to me about my weight gain. I have to do something. I have to get my body back and have confidence in myself. So with that I have started the 21 Day Fix and Shakeology program! Today is only the first day but I have heard nothing but great things about this program. So let's see if this is something I can actually continue with! But lord I hope so as this shit cost me $150!!!!

Well, now that I have bored yall with another DEPRESSING post, I will get back to the exciting ones soon! Thanks for reading (if you still are!)

XOXO,
Rachel